3 Goats in a Honda Civic

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Parable-3 goats in a Honda Civic

There once was a man who lived on a farm in his younger years, he oversaw taking care of the goats. He became attached to the goats and felt very comfortable around them.

When he became older and the farm was sold, he set off on his own. The man moved to an apartment building in the city. Since the man was very comfortable and happy with the goats he decided to bring them with him. The landlord said no goats were allowed in the building, so he pretended not to have them and snuck them upstairs anyway.

Everyday became a battle of not getting caught with the goats. On the weekends he would go out to meet his friends and bring his goats along in his Honda Civic, which they absolutely trashed. He would go to the clubs and hangout spots and leave his goats in the car; he would have to go and check on them periodically throughout the party. His friends asked him why in the world he would have three pet goats in his car or much less in the city?

He just said that they reminded him of home and minimized their inconvenience. During the week the man had to go to work and the goats would ravage and destroy his apartment building. Every single day he had to come home and spend hours cleaning up the mess they made. Still, he justified that having them around made him feel a sense of security.

He became more isolated and bitter as much of his time was spent tending to hide the fact that he had these goats and cleaning up the messes they made. His close friends asked him again, “Are you sure that you want these goats in your life? After all your circumstances have changed, you no longer live on the farm.”

The man broke down and expressed to his friends that he never really liked the goats to begin with. They were always a huge pain in the ass to take care of, but during a difficult time in his childhood they were there to protect him. He would go outside and tend to these goats on the farm every time his parents would get into fights or when his abusive home life became chaotic.

They protected me and now I protect them, even though I don't want them around I continue to protect them. I realize now that I’ve been defending these goats that I wish were gone. It's time to let them go so that I can move forward.

The man said his goodbyes as he dropped them off at the animal sanctuary. As they walked away, he said their names for the last time. Goodbye Resentment, Anger and Fear.

Personal Reflection

I was back in prison again, my ego wanted to follow suit with all the other inmates around me and blame the cops and the crooked court for imposing their money-making judicial system upon poor old me. However, this time it was just too obvious that I was the problem. I came face to face with my own cognitive dissonance, which is the bewilderment of internal questioning such as “Why do I continue to do the very thing I do not want to do?” I could not comprehend my own self sabotage.

Was it possible that I was being driven to act upon underlying instincts I was only subtly aware of? Possibly this is what Paul talked about in Romans 7:14-17. Perhaps it was time for me to start looking for root answers as to why I continue to self-sabotage. I discovered that I was operating in my life with even worse of a ridiculous situation than 3 goats in a Honda Civic. I was carrying around a multitude of poisonous, unfinished, unprocessed emotions. These were the rudder upon my vessel and guided me to view the world itself and my position in this world in a constant state of conditioned reactions.

Not only was I seeing the world through the lens of ego, past trauma and misplaced worship, I also had a backpack full of emotional blocks: Anger, Resentment, Fears, Harms I committed and toxic habitual relationship patterns. I understood that there was no way I could ever successfully mimic the characteristics of my Higher Self while I had these in my personal programming. I had to get real with myself on a new level of effort and surrender that which does not serve me must go.

Embracing Emotional Inventory: A Different Approach to Step Work and Character Patterns

This reflective exercise explores the deep psychological and emotional undercurrents that shape individual behavior, using allegory to illuminate the pain and patterns we often defend without realizing the toll they take. The story of “Three Goats in a Honda Civic” serves as a metaphorical lens through which unresolved emotional instincts—resentment, anger, and fear—are portrayed as companions from childhood that, while once protective, now obstruct growth and peace.

Inspired by principles of the Fourth and Fifth Steps of 12-Step recovery programs, this model invites individuals to take a rigorous and honest inventory of their emotional patterns, behaviors, and relationship dynamics. It also aligns with trauma-informed and cognitive-behavioral approaches to healing, offering a pathway toward greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, and transformation.

Connection to Therapeutic Modalities

• Narrative Therapy: Helps clients re-author their internal stories, shifting from “being the goat-keeper” to becoming their own liberator.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Encourages reflection on how thoughts (e.g., justifying anger) fuel destructive behaviors and emotions.

• Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores unconscious motivations, such as attachment to painful emotions or identity formations rooted in early trauma.

• Mindfulness-Based Practices: Supports present-moment awareness and the non-judgmental release of patterns that no longer serve one's growth.

• Trauma-Informed Care: Validates the survival roles emotions played during formative crises while gently guiding clients toward healthy detachment.

Character Patterns Inventory Table Example

Summary & Reflection

The man in the story ultimately releases his symbolic goats—Resentment, Anger, and Fear—not because they were inherently bad, but because they no longer serve the life he hopes to live. This exercise mirrors the emotional liberation found in working the Fourth and Fifth Steps: naming the emotional burdens, understanding their origins, and surrendering their power over one’s identity.

By confronting the traits we protect despite their destructiveness, we open the door to embodying the characteristics aligned with our Higher Self or Higher Power—such as serenity, compassion, and courage.

Question & Answer Reflection

Use these prompts to deepen your exploration:

What emotional “goats” do you protect even though they cost you peace?

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How did these traits originally serve or protect you?

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What justifications do you use to defend anger, fear, or resentment?

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Are there specific stories you repeatedly revisit to validate your pain?

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What relationships became toxic or destructive during active addiction or times of crisis?

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What emotional patterns block you from embodying your Higher Power’s characteristics?

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What would it feel like to release these instincts and live with new clarity?

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Blank Emotional Inventory Table

Use this table to identify key emotional themes, their origins, and their consequences. This will serve as an emotional map for Step Four exploration or as a recovery journaling tool.

In the following table make a list of your fears, resentments, harms and toxic relationship patterns. These have the tendency to block us from living as the characteristics of our Higher Power. These are four separate list and not necessarily connected to each other.

Look again at the 4 lists you made just now. Can you see why you might have had some struggles with self-sabotage. Carrying these with you as you go through life is just as ridiculous as having 3 goats in a Honda Civic.

Do you think that anyone could simultaneously burden those same four lists and also mimic the characteristics of their higher power, without faking it?

You do not have to carry these anymore, it is time to say goodbye. Now that you are aware of your underlying instincts it is up to you to stop protecting the poison that lives inside of you. Find the courage to leave behind what does not serve you.